Since time immemorial, a man’s penis has become a symbol of strength and power. The longer and bigger your package, the manlier you are in the eyes of general society. The more women you have sex with, the more men will worship you and ask for your techniques, which makes your ego soar as tall as Mt. Everest. You may not notice it, but you are actually worshipping your guy down there, no matter how big or not so big it is.
If you are obsessed with your man down there, did you know that there are religions scattered around the world that think of the penis as a god? It turns out that knowing your penises anatomy and genetic makeup is not enough to be able to maximize it.
Penis mythology may no longer be a thing in the West. However, many countries across Asia have managed to preserve their penis religions, so that they still exist today.
1. Mara Kannon Shrine In Tawarayama, Japan
Some people associate Japan with the bombing of Pearl Harbor – and Asian porn. However, there is a place in Japan that worships the penis.
According to legends, some 450 years ago, there were two local politicians in Tawarayama, Mr. Oji and Mr. Sue, who hated each other so much, the feud turned into death threats.
To protect his family, Mr. Oji disguised his son, turned him into a girl and hid him in the local shrine. Eventually, Mr. Sue found the boy and cut his head off. Since he was not convinced of the boy’s identity, Mr. Sue decided to cut the boy’s penis, too.
When the locals heard about the killing, they decided to make a replacement for the boy’s penis using wood and ceramic. While making one, the locals realized how fun it was, so they never stopped making them. Since then, thousands of visitors from around the world visit the penis-surrounding shrine, some standing up to five feet tall. Just in case you are asking, many penises surrounded the forest, so go figure.
That’s not all. Mara Kannon Shrine has become a popular destination for men who suffer with erection problems – and women who wish their guy’s dude would stand up. Aside from the usual Shinto bowing and praying, you can buy smaller, life-sized ceramic penises and use them as an offering. You can even write your prayers and wishes on it for best results.
Does this work? It’s for the worshippers to know, and you to find out.
2. The Lingam
Shiva is known as the god of destruction and change in Hinduism. Hence, don’t be surprised if the Hindus worship every part of his body. In fact, the Lingam is a symbol of Shiva’s body: his you know what down there.
According to Hindu mythology, when Shiva was killed, Kali, a goddess, squatted over his dead body, ripped it apart and ate his organs.
Even in death, Shiva’s ding-dong was still erect and capable of penetration. Kali mounted on Shiva’s manhood in order to complete the cycle of creation. Since then, Shiva, Kali and Lingam became huge among a billion Hindus around the worldand there are various sects that worship them.
When you go to most Hindu temples, you will see Shiva’s “linga” depicted without the rest of his body. It turns out that devotees worship his member on its own, with no body or head attached to it. To make things more awkward, the linga is mounted on “yoni,” which literally means vagina. Every Hindu temple you go to, you will see the linga and yoni together – in full penetration.
Of course, you have to pay respect to the Lingam. Unlike the penis shrine in Japan, this is straight forward. You have to pour milk or water on the yoni to make it wet and say your prayers. You also need to meditate, which involves holding a small linga and rubbing it while meditating. Surely, you are in it for a religious experience.
3. Min, An Egyptian God
Aside from the pyramids, Egyptians are fond of gods that represent a certain aspect of the society. Take the case of Min, the ancient Egyptian god of fertility.
If you happen to see Egyptian statues and arts, you will notice that Min is always holding his penis with his left hand while raising his right hand, and holding a flail, a kind of whip that separates the grain. Some think that Min used his flail on naughty women who deserves punishment – in a sexual way.
Min became popular during the Middle Kingdom era and New Kingdom era. He became a central figure in the coronation ceremony of the new Pharaoh.
Apparently, every Pharaoh must prove that he can ejaculate, since what’s the point of being one if he can’t be surrounded by beautiful women, right? Min’s presence was there to ensure that the new Pharaoh would be able to release his juices and not shoot blanks.
Since then, Min has become a symbol of fertility and ejaculation. He was so popular that ancient sources suggest that Min’s statues stand 55 feet tall and his man down there about eight feet. You won’t see the same statues, since excavation only started in 1991. Still, Min’s temples are around Egypt, open to worshippers.
While in Min’s temple, worshippers can rub the leaves of an Egyptian lettuce plant, which eventually emits a milky white sap. The sap contains lactucarium, a type of chemical whose effect is similar to cocaine. That’s not all. During the annual harvest festival, naked Egyptians play various games, including climbing a giant pole with special prizes waiting for anyone who reaches the top.
4. Hounen Fertility Festival In Komaki, Japan
Now you know why Japan and sex are synonymous to each other. Aside from the penis-covered forest, there is a festival that dates so farback; nobody even remembers why he or shedoes it. This is called Hounen Fertility Festival in Komaki.
The Hounen Fertility Festival happens every March 15. The ceremony starts at two o’clock, although you get free booze as early as 10a.m. By 2p.m., the crowd gathers in the Shinmei Shrine,
where the nine-foot long and 620 pound golden penis is kept. Then the Shinto priests will bless the crowd, who will thereafter pick up the giant penis and mount it in their shoulders.
They carry it to the TagataJinja shrine, where they will spin the massive package in circles just above their heads. Around four in the afternoon, the people carrying the penis will bring it to its new home and pray for a fruitful year, in sex obviously.
If you want extra luck in bed, don’t forget to rub the sacred balls. Who knows, this could help you with your issues between the sheets.
If you happen to be in Japan during spring, drop by Kanamara Matsuri or Festival of the Steel Phallus in Kawasaki. This festival focuses on a penis-venerating shrine that was once popular among prostitutes who prayed for protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Aside from this, it also offers marriage, easy delivery and harmony especially in married couples.
5. The Flaming Thunderbolt
Sometime in the 16th century, a monk named Drukpa Kunley became popular for his unique ways in enlightening young women.
Nicknamed“The Divine Madman,” Kunley spent his life travelling along the countryside, now Bhutan, and promising women a path to Nirvana using his Flaming Thunderbolt.
It turns out that Krunley used beer as the women’s mode of payment in exchange for his spiritual illumination. During the “session,” Kunley gives advice on how to balance karma, spiritual peace. For him, drunkenness and sexual ecstasy are the best ways to help you achieve being one with yourself and forget about the material world.
As if that’s enough for him, but it’s not. There were stories about how Kunley defeated evil spirits and demons – mostly females – using his penis by gagging them with it. Then, the female demon will become a good one through divine sexual play, as if that makes sense.
Apparently for Kunley, it was not about the size, but how you use your package down there. Today, more than 80 percent of Bhutan’s population uses the image of Kunley and his flaming thunderbolt for good luck. The images are everywhere; you could even see it outside buildings and homes to drive bad spirits away.
If you are around the area, drop by Kunley’s Chimi Lhakhang monastery, which is a three-hour drive from Thimphu, capital of Bhutan. Devotees are blessed and hit on the head with a large wooden phallus, allegedly carved by the Divine Madman himself.
Smart Dude, Don’t You Think?
Call these people crazy, out of their minds or whatever words you want to call them. At the end of the day, it all boils down to personal beliefs, which may be different from yours. For educational purposes, do check out these festivals and religions. It would be nice to know and experience firsthand what they have to offer for you and your man down there.
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