Have you ever wondered why the sex isn’t as good as it used to be? You think back nostalgically at those good old days when nothing could hold you and your partner back. Exploring your sexuality was such a thrill.
But, where did all that go?
The answer is – it’s all there; however, sex satisfaction in marriage does seem to be a subject of great intrigue. Some people just accept it at face value that the sex is supposed to get worse, but it doesn’t have to be this way for you. You deserve to have a great sex life in your marriage. Opposed to what you may think, having awesome mind-blowing sex throughout your married life is totally possible.
The answer to how you can enjoy coital bliss lies in a few key points that you’ll read about below.
1. A Novel Way to Kill Excuses
When your partner turns you down saying, “Oh honey, not tonight. I am just too tired tonight.” your sex drive goes for a toss. One bulletproof way to make sure this never happens to you is to mark your “sex days” on the calendar.
Yes, you must schedule your sex sessions. But, you think – “Hey, if I have it marked down, then won’t it ruin everything by killing the spontaneity?” Well, that depends on how spontaneous your intercourses usually are. In any case, this analogy helps understand why scheduling sex works.
Do you think this statement is reasonable?
“I do not schedule what I eat? I spontaneously munch on whatever I want and whenever I want.”
If someone went by this credo, then it would reflect poorly on the waistline – not a good sign, right? Spontaneity has its place. You must reserve it for special occasions.
For long-term couples, if sex has to be spontaneous every time, then it will never work.
Besides, knowing that Wednesday is sex day, you can enjoy the anticipatory high. Imagine the thrill and the rush you get from the buildup. When you and your partner know that it’s on, then ordinary excuses can’t derail you.
That said, you don’t have to go full military on the schedule, if spontaneity creeps in and the mood is right, then go for it. The idea here is that you and your partner establish clear agendas regarding the matter, so that glitches don’t crop up.
2. Avoid This Pitfall That Most People Fall Into
“Damn, these walls are too thin. The kids will hear us.” Sometimes, your sex life has absolutely nothing to do with you. Things around you can conspire to lead you to sexual deprivation. That’s why you must pay attention to all things around you and cut out a clear path to sex.
Guitar legend Eddie Van Halen walked around with a guitar strapped to his back at all times, so that he could practice whenever he got time. In this way, he set himself up to be a great guitarist. You have to do the same – set yourself up for great sex.
So, look at your living space and ask yourself, “What could make having sex easier?” It sounds cheesy; however, the number of obstacles that pave your way to happy intercourse will astonish you.
A few things you can try are as follows:
- Teach your children to respect privacy and knock before they enter.
- Install a lock on your master bedroom door.
- Secure an “adults only” zone in your house.
- Keep all your sex paraphernalia accessible.
- Upgrade your mattress.
- Install dimmer lights.
3. Contrary to What You Think, This Will Actually Help You
Most households these days are dual-income. Your spouse probably deals with as much stress and rigor at the work place as you do. Given the status quo, you think that it is reasonable to let go of sex for the time being.
In the end, such minor compromises add up and lead to major relationship issues. Ideally, there’s nothing like long drawn euphoric coitus. In reality, however, you will not get time often enough to drive yourself to complete sexual satisfaction.
The solution is – you have to master the art of quickies. Doesn’t everything else in the world strive towards optimization, so why not sex?
The advantage of quick 20-minute sessions is that you can always find time for them. Additionally, your energy demands are low. In order to get the best out of such sessions, imagine a time where you and your partner experienced blissful orgasm. Then, recreate the climatic moments of that event as you consummate.
4. Overcome a Significant Hurdle With This Simple Trick
You wouldn’t shy away from asking someone to turn the volume higher on the TV, would you? It is natural, because you couldn’t hear the dialogues clearly and thus, you wanted more sound.
Do you pay such attention to how you’re serving your partner, and vice versa, while you’re having sex?
Just like turning up the volume, talk to your partner to tune into the movement and tempo that’s just right. In fact, once a month, dedicate some time for pure exploration. Go over every inch of your partner’s body to expand your understanding of your partner’s erogenous zones.
Pay attention to your partner’s feet, fingertips, scalp, abdomen, wrist and lips. Don’t forget kissing. The more stimulation points you hit, the better it is going to get for your partner. Remember to take it slow. If you go to fast, you will miss out on some pleasurable sensations.
5. Are Your Sure You’re Not Missing This Important Ingredient?
Living with varied preferences is much easier if the people around you clearly understand and accept your preferences. When it comes to sex, many variables, such as time of the day, location, intensity, frequency and comfort level determine your level of sexual satisfaction. You must cater to these variables, because sexual satisfaction in married couples goes toe to toe with how much the husband and wife knows about each other’s sexual preferences.
Use this simple trick to identify your sweet spot:
- Sit down with your spouse and write down your individual preferences.
- Then on a page, draw two large circles that intersect each other.
- In the overlapping portion of the circle, write down common preferences.
- In the parts that don’t intersect, write the individual preferences.
This visual map gives a clear understanding of your choices, as well as your partner’s choices. Thus, you can equally cater to both individual and mutual needs in a balanced way.
6. You Will Miss Out Big-time If You Don’t Do This
Anatomically, there are 11 major muscle groups in your body. These muscles need to remain flexible and strong if you want an adequate sexual performance. This makes regular exercise mandatory. Keep in mind the following points with reference to sex, health and fitness.
- Eating nutritiously and keeping your body hydrated is of equal importance, because sex is a physical demanding endeavor.
- Exercise to build functional strength and flexibility – bulging biceps, which you use primarily for pulling things, is not a major contributory factor to great sex. On the other hand, your core strength plays a vital role.
- Also, if your drive diminishes after a heavy meal, then don’t eat too much before sex,
- or have sex before you eat.
- Make sure you get enough cardio. This helps build stamina and endurance. Note, if any of your muscles feel sore after sex, and then do exercises to strengthen those muscles.
- Additionally, if you feel out of breath, do breathing exercises to improve your lung capacity, in addition to regular cardiovascular routines.
7. Avoid Doing This at Any Cost for Sex Satisfaction in Marriage
A drop in the marriage satisfaction scale directly corresponds to a drop in the sexual satisfaction in marriage. One major reason for plummeting sexual satisfaction is sticking to one sex position.
Mix things up. Instead of going for plain old missionary style each time you have sex, try new positions. Each intercourse needn’t be equally intense. Try different things, such as cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, scissors, doggy style, 69 and spooning.
Don’t switch positions too frequently. You must talk to your partner and see if it’s right to do so, because the more you give, the more you receive. While trying different positions, don’t stretch yourself too much beyond your comfort level. Take baby steps, it’s not a one-nightstand, after all, your partner is still going to be there tomorrow.
With practice, you will progressively get better using intermediate to advanced moves. When you get to pulling off more advanced positions,your sex life will sharply increase.
8. Don’t Shy Away From Doing This
As you grow older, your body changes. Some of these changes, such as stretch marks and unnecessary fat, are not appealing and thus undermine our confidence.
People who feel guilty about their body engage in sex as a matter of obligation rather than a matter of choice. As a result, they prefer to keep the lights off and try to get it over with as soon as they can. Terrible, isn’t it?
The solution is to get comfortable with your naked body. Let your spouse see you in
the light. If bright lights are too much, use mood lighting to make things easier. Furthermore, expose yourself to your partner in non-sexual situations that allow you to undress, such as trying a new outfit and showering.
If you’re too conscious about your body, start exercising and take it slow. It might take a year to get the dream body you want, but isn’t that better than carrying on hiding in the shadows for the rest of your life.
9. Caution – This Will Kill Your Sex Life
Sexual satisfaction in marriage is a function of novelty. If you’re doing the same thing repeatedly, you fall into the trap of diminishing results. When you’re absolutely starving, a burger satisfies your hunger better than nothing else does. On the contrary, if you eat another burger immediately, it doesn’t feel as good as the first one did.
In the same manner, if you keep having sex in the same place, your bedroom, then things are guaranteed to get boring.
Introduce variability in your sexual habits. For instance, have sex at new locations, such as the floor, the couch, kitchen counter, shower and pool. Have sex at different times of the day, don’t let it always be post-10 p.m.
Occasionally, you can leave your kids with the sitter and get away from it all for a weekend of sexual pleasure. Going on pseudo honeymoon trips is also a fun way to have your partner all to yourself.
Each time you have sex, make it a point to change at least one thing about the experience. It could be something as little as having sex listening to heavy metal music one time and country music another time. You get the idea, now just apply it to your preferences as a couple.
10. Take Things to Another Level
You really don’t need to take a marriage satisfaction quiz to get a feel of how things are sexually between you and your partner. No matter how it is right now, you can always improve things.
For instance, the Kamasutra describes 64 different positions. Somebody went through a lot of hard work to come up with all this. You don’t want all that work to go to waste, don’t you?
Increasing your knowledge about the art of having sex definitely scores high on the list of things to do to improve your sex life. Apart from learning more moves, you can get in touch with the spiritual aspect of sex and learn to connect with your partner at a deeper level.
More importantly, since the education system doesn’t give adequate importance to sex education, it is important that you educate yourself in order to enjoy sex and to keep yourself safe.
While reading about sex, search for advice on specific matters rather than following generic advice because there’s no one size fits all when it comes to sex. To put simply – know more to do more.
11. Fire Up Your Sessions With This Playful Method
In a marriage satisfaction survey, couples reported an increase in marriage satisfaction after they rekindled their sex life. Sex and marital satisfaction are undeniably correlated and so is sex satisfaction and happy marriage. In order to spark the flame again, use adult games available for purchase online.
Such computer games have settings that allow you to tweak the intensity of your sexual interactions. If you find your marriage satisfaction after baby has decreased, then sexy games are the perfect way to restore things back to normal sex-wise.
Alternately, you can stick to offline games, such as strip poker. The playful, yet competitive, elements of the game make things interesting.
Sexual interactions occur during such games that don’t normally happen during plain vanilla sex. Therefore, you get a structured approach to exploring your sexuality and getting more intimate with your partner.
12. Prevent Your Sex Drive From Dampening
If you’ve been married for over a decade or so, then you need to take a marriage satisfaction inventory. In this inventory, you need to look at many aspects of your relationship with your spouse, including sexual satisfaction. Troubling as it is, it is futile to deny the toll that age takes on people.
As the body gets older, gradual biological wear and tear reduces its vitality. In such cases, using products that supplement your sex drive is advisable. For example, VigRX plus is a male enhancement pill that increased sexual and intercourse satisfaction by 71.43% in a clinical study and has a very high satisfaction rate among men across the globe.
It’s good to use supplements, but it is a bad idea to abuse them. So exercise some restraint while taking a supplement. Taking two pills instead of one will not make you last twice as longer.
Sexual urges are a part of the biological programming that has allowed the human race to progress so far; therefore, it’s not something that you need to put a lid on or sweep under the carpet. The purpose of marriage is to provide a socially accepted structure to have sex, among many other things.
Marriage satisfaction statistics reveal that having an active and pleasing sex life increases the health of your relationship with your spouse enormously. Setting up a safe and communicative environment is a key necessity for this to happen. To that end, sex satisfaction in marriage is a responsibility that both partners must share equally.
Lastly, if you are avoiding sex because of stress in your marriage, then there’s even more reason you should have sex. Sex lowers stress levels, gives you better sleep, and gets you mood back in place. Once you are calm and composed, you can calmly handle whatever trouble that’s thrown at you. What’s even cooler is that you’ll have the full support of your partner, who for some magical reason is more into you these days. It’s a win-win for all.